** Based on a true incident. Names changed for privacy
2 years ago, Sundar, a 15 year old class 8 student was thrilled. He believed that he had found ‘true love’ in Anjali his schoolmate.
Sundar found the situation at home was depressing. His parents were poor labourers and his father an alcoholic. It bothered him to see his mother suffer in silence. He decided that he would not be like his father and be a true lover to his dream girl Anjali.
Inspired by his favourite movie hero, Sundar decided to woo his love. He stalked her for days and when he got the opportunity he forced himself upon the shocked Anjali.
Some community members noticed him. They stopped him and thrashed him for his behaviour. The local police took up the matter and Sundar was then sent to a juvenile reform home.
Over the last two years, as a juvenile convict Sundar has only seen rejection and disapproval.
Anjali was never in love with him and despised him after this episode.
His parents have disowned him and say that he has disgraced the family. The community he grew up in looks down on him and do not want him to come back there.
The remand home which is supposed to help him reform and teach him skills to make a living has only hardened him emotionally.
When One Good Step met Sundar at the juvenile home, we saw in him a confused child. He did not even understand what his crime was. He felt bitter to have been condemned by all.
Like millions of Indian children from underprivileged backgrounds, Sundar too had access to social media and internet. He used to spend a lot of time watching movie scenes featuring his favourite hero.
It was from these videos that he learnt that it was all right to stalk the woman you love. These videos with explicit visuals suggested to him that it was ‘manly’ to force yourself upon the woman you love. He also learnt here that it was not ok for a true man to accept rejection from a woman.
Sundar’s is not an isolated case. Recently a techie was killed in broad daylight in Chennai by a man who loved her. He too had been unable to accept that she had rejected him.
Confronted with challenging personal lives, these children lack role models from within their families and immediate social setup. Invariably turn to popular public figures and try to emulate them.
Mobile connectivity and internet has completely transformed the manner in which young Indians look for information. While these enable social connectivity, they become a tool for learning only when the user is appropriately guided.
While we would like to believe that this connectivity helps bridge the information cap that has existed between urban and rural India as well as the rich and the poor, the reality is very different.
It is essential that we as a society rise to meet this challenge. A sense of social responsibility is essential among all public figures who are celebrated by the masses.
Educators and social institutions too need to be sensitive to the socio-cultural habits of people from different social and economic backgrounds.
Unless this happens we are likely to have an increasingly large number of children who are in no position to understand the difference between aspiration and reality. We may just have many children lost and misguided in a troubled world.
– Authored by Meenakshi Ravi